Mermaid princess sans scales

October really rings in one of my favorite seasons: AUTUMN. For better or for worse, change happens quite often in my life. You'll often find me chuckling over the phone with my mother with whimsical laments like: "I don't even try to make my life this random Mom". Change is healthy. Here's a song to listen to while you read: Blackbird. It's what I listened to on repeat while I put together this blog post.

One year at the leadership seminar I volunteer with, EDGE Youth Leadership, we taught the students an important life principle: "If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got". (Go ahead, read that phrase again 2 or 3 times...it's a bit of a tongue twister). It's true. I suppose that's why I find so much beauty in ocean waves. (That link has about 3 hours of waves...so enjoy that...). I like the consistency of change that waves embody. Always changing. Never the same. Constantly. You can expect an ocean wave to come into the shore, but we don't have, at a glance, the notion how far the wave will stretch, how fast the wave will approach or if it will bring any sea treasures with it. I think that's how I've been feeling lately. All of the very awesome experiences in my life are happening at a constant and very unpredictable rate. Who knows what the change will bring!

In other news, Mckenzie is going to be a princess for Halloween. Out of practicality sake. That was the *adorable* costume selected (and purchased) for her by her grandmother (my mother of course). Too bad Mckenzie wants to be a mermaid. She can be Ariel in the last 5 minutes of The Little Mermaid. That's my suggestion. Mermaid princess sans scales. She's incredible. I love that little one.

Here's what I know for sure: I am doing things I've never done before. I suppose I will render experiences and lessons I have yet to learn. 

The photos below highlight a glimpse into my life as of lately. Enjoy!

 My 2013 pumpkin patch experience. Very different than my 1993 pumpkin patch experience. Wouldn't have it any other way. Mom and I were laughing so hard the whole time.

Note the double peace signs. That must evidently mean double the peace.

 Go Chargers! Go Brennan!

Again....Blackbird.

 Lauren's hipster pumpkin. Chevron is so in right now.

So grateful for these two. Very terrific catch up day!

 What H.A.M. does best: awkward.

Got to see Trish for a little visit!!

We made it rain. Diamonds.

Wiggin'-out with the Bride-to-Be. Britt Britt in San Diego! The button says it all: Team Bride.

 So grateful I got to spend time with Lisa! You could have plopped us in a field with a scarecrow and we would have that scarecrow busting at the seams.

I LOVE MARCENE.

"We grow, grow, steady as the morning"

Ben Howard sums up my life, as of late, in his song, Old Pine. Pretty accurately actually. The chorus goes: 

"We stood
Steady as the stars in the woods
So happy-hearted
And the warmth rang true inside these bones...."

Lately, I feel like I've been recovering from heart surgery. Sure, that seems a little exaggerated. I have no idea what heart surgery feels like. I do know what emotional pain feels like. And that, Charlie, hurts. The past few weeks/months have been a beautiful, healing process that has left me with a deep sense of contentment. Happy isn't always cheery. Happy to me is feeling like my feet (and conscious) are in the right place. 

Something I have learned this month: the sunshine really does appear (eventually). 

My life has been amazing lately. Maybe it's that everyone else's lives are amazing and I get to enjoy watching it all unfold or be a weird part of it. Biggest fan? I'll take it.

For starters, my best friend in the entire world, Lauren, got engaged this weekend!!! WAHOO!! Brennan was one smooth operator. He is so sweet. SO thoughtful. I was the creeper with the camcorder. Yep. Just Lauren, Brennan, Santa Cruz natives and yours truly. I almost asked to borrow a beach towel to wipe up all the sweat on my neck. I was so nervous! There was no need to be nervous really. Everything was perfect. After 7 happy years, they are officially engaged. So so happy. Lots of tears. Happy tears. I am so grateful for Lauren and Brennan. They are family to me. They keep teaching me so much about how to LIVE. 

Erin left for her new big adventure. So excited for her. And grateful for her. She's hilarious. We sent her off with a bottle of La Victoria's Orange Sauce and a smile. She packed up her truck and off she went. No more Hayward for E.P. She is one of the most thoughtful, simple and reasonable people I know. Here's to many more happy memories to come!!
                                                     
Today I was eating my whole wheat pasta with some delicious tomato/herb sauce from Trader Joe's. I decided to watch a TedTalk (as per the recommendation from NetFlix from my recent view of the Steve Jobs documentary...which I watched when I had the flu, and little sleep. Many tears.) Anywho...I flipped around some TedTalks and landed on Jane McGonigal's talk entitled, "The game that can give you 10 extra years". Honestly, wasn't really hooked for most of it. She is a video game developer. Some things I liked. I appreciated some of her arguments about how people need to play more often and work less in an effort to enjoy life. I forced myself to have an open mind while listening. My gut reaction: video games/alternative lives (opposed to reality)= bad. I admit, I had some change of heart by the end. She drew some pretty lovely conclusions about real life (abstractly, from the vantage point of video games).

Que up her talk from 10:45-11:52. She talks about Posttramatic Growth as opposed to Posttramatic Stress. Fascinating to me. Posttramatic Growth! It's beautiful to think about. Psychology Today even covers it in the article titled: The Key to Posttraumatic Growth. The key to Posttramatic Growth, according to author Stephen Joseph, Ph.D., is story telling. And re-creating our stories at that: 

"Through telling new stories that we are able to rebuild our sense of self—to reconstruct an understanding of who we are, our place in the world, and what our expectations of the world are".

So that's just what I plan on doing. New stories. I'm building and constructing me. That's what's going on in my neck of the woods. I have about 1 year left of my Master's Program in Public Administration. I have about 1 year left of serving with some of the most incredible students in the world here in University Housing. I have been on 3 overnight retreats in the past month with work. I've had so many opportunities and experiences. I keep learning and growing. I LOVE the people I get to learn from EVERY day!

Sardines!! 

this is what we get to do...for "work"

RHA takes on the Boardwalk. I love our RHA team!

The Unequivocal H.A.M.

#BaconCupONoodlesBeefJerkyDoritos

A3 Crew. Always on point. "Let's share our favorite song and our favorite bad word..."

Green.

Let's get closer to the cliff. Totally safe.

I suppose that's why Ben Howard really has resonated with me this week. I keep growing. I really feel like I am standing steady and growing.

"We stood
Steady as the stars in the woods
So happy-hearted
And the warmth rang true inside these bones...."

Things are about to get epic.

World. Let me tell you. Things are about to get epic. Loco. El Pollo Loco. Ya dig? Tomorrow I head out to Pennsylvania for a national housing conference. I have the privilege of serving with incredible student leaders. We try to improve the quality of life for about 1,300 people. Probably more, if you think about their families. Well, we're headed out to Pennsylvania to figure out how WE can improve OUR service. I can't tell you how many times I've tried "Yelp!"ing different restaurants or places in the area we are headed to. We'll see what kind of adventures await us!! I think our first adventure will be the flight crossed the United States of America......get ready in-flight movie...we're coming after you.

So, that's this weekend.

Week 2: Nicolio!! McKenz!! + Steph love week!! :) Mi amiga is getting married!! Wahoo!!

Week 3: Move out week (trying to help 1,300 people move out of their apartments over the course of a few days....imagine that. Who knew that could happen on a semi-regular basis?!) + Loads of bitter-sweet goodbyes. Students that have made a difference here will keep on growing and improving their communities in new places. :)

ALSO Week 3: NCYLS!!! Words can't express my gratitude for NCYLS. I love it. It's one of my favorite things. And the actual seminar is like a weekend of magic. So many special people gather for the most incredibly transformational, energizing and inspiring weekend anyone could imagine.

At the end of the day, here's what it's about: figuring out how to love people a little bit more. In a discussion format, six Latter-day Saint women spoke about how we can bring up children in light and truth. Lots was discussed in these short 12 minutes. A woman in her late 70s shared what she thought was important in how we treat children:

"I think that's one of the main things we can make them feel, is what they mean to us. How wonderful they are. And that they are so precious"

Bam. That hit me. Do the people around me understand, and really feel, what they mean to me? Do they understand and feel how wonderful they are? Do they understand and feel how precious they are? If not, what am I doing about it?

I am grateful for the eternal plan that a loving Heavenly Father has provided for ALL of His kids. That plan has helped me understand that we are all His children. His children that He wants to see again someday. I think He misses us. A lot. Maybe that's why it's so important for us to understand and feel that we are loved.

AND for kicks, my best friend is awesome.

We ate the most delicious treats this weekend. She had fresh caramel ice cream. I had some "frescas con crema"...a little strawberries with cream. There is a new mexican ice cream shop down the street from me. I am obsessed. It's DELICIOUS!!! So many fresh flavors!!

here is the memory:

And if you want some more memories....here's been a summary of my life as of lately:

 

Just a normal hike in the forest

RHA Banquet 2013

Area 2 Team!!

 Chick flick night with Mama. A little Roman Holiday, a cozy blanket and warm socks. Nothing beats that!

50 things to love about life...that are free!

Simple post today.

I found this link online. Made me happy. Maybe these things will make you happy too.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/50-things-to-love-about-life-that-are-free/

The first step to happiness is acknowledging that happiness can happen, right? If it's not the first step, it's gotta be in at least the first ten steps....

a dried up popcorn kernel stuck in your throat...

Here's one way to cheer anyone up: this 2-year-old....meet my niece. She's the best. She LOVES to talk on the phone...especially with her favorite aunt. She's the best. Want to know why? She appreciates the little things. The Format put it best, "snails see the benefits the beauty in every inch...". She loves Curious George. She loves making new friends. She likes to tickle her mom. And every time her dad comes home from work, she squeals because she can't keep in how happy she is. That's the good life. I am so grateful my sister let's me take a glimpse into their sweet, happy life. Last week, they were digging for worms in the garden. Every day she does what she loves. Sure, some days things don't go like she plans. Like this kid--hilarious. But all in all, she cries it out, hugs it out, breathes in, and starts running again. 

Here are some more people I'm grateful for: these RAs. They inspire me. I learn SO much from them and the experiences I have with them. This week, Kenny focused in our leadership development. He showed this video about how kindness can make a HUGE impact. He's right. The team discussed how people who are kind start a positive domino-like effect. We're all going to start trying to do that."One day" can be today. One day at a time. 

And finally, my favorite place of the week: the Oakland Temple. OK, you got me. It's my favorite place EVERY week. Why not? It's so incredible!! Every time I visit, I feel like everything will work out. I leave feeling a little happier, knowing that peace DOES exist, even when we don't think it possibly could. You know, when you feel like you have a piece of a dried up popcorn kernel stuck in your throat? Not because you're necessarily happy or sad, but because you're not sure what to do with the 2 million puzzle pieces left in front of you. That's how I feel. I know there is sense that will come of this glamorous puzzle we call life. I just don't have the top part of the box to reference. And we all know how much fun 2 million puzzle pieces can be... one piece at a time. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Even if some days my feet feel like bricks. I have a feeling that if I try looking, there's got to be ruby slippers somewhere around the brick path. 

Cheese sounded soothing enough to me.

This is the Sacred Wheel. A local cheese shop in Oakland, California. My mom and I went here this past week after a visit to another sacred place in Oakland, the LDS Temple. After one of the most difficult weeks of my life, I have been surrounding myself with my guiltless comforts: faith, food and Mama. Want to hear about our visit? Well, it was typical "us". First of all, my Mom assigns me to find us the food. Somewhere close. Delicious. She's hungry. I hop on the Yelp machine and find us a nice sandwich shop in Downtown Oakland, a few minutes from the Oakland Temple. Veto. Next, the Cheese Shop. Never had dinner at a Cheese Shop before. Cheese sounded soothing enough to me. Game on. We head over to this charming shop and are welcomed by artistic cheese experts. They describe the cheese with such beautiful descriptions: smooth, creamy, sharp, bold, soft, DELICIOUS. 

 Although the menu was great, Mom wants what she wants....which isn't always the mainstream. She requests a cheese platter, equipped with a variety of cheeses, veggies, nuts and crackers. Mom+ cheese + top it off with a cup of cozy soup and BAM... you've got a platter of hygge. 

Ten points if you can find it, but there is a little sign on the door of this Cheese Shop that invites visitors to,

"Come in...We're Open". Kind of a cute, vintage-y, Pinterest type of sign. 

I'll be honest, I'm not a big whiner (I'm more of the cheesy type, ha). But on the reals, I do my best to find the good, the "silver lining". After a week of murky muck, it's hard to hop on a cloud. Thus, the recognition of a need for constant improvement. But between the gaps of sad and happy, there's the Team. I am SO grateful for the love, support and strength from hosts of angels, both seen and unseen. Although my life has been a little rocky, I've been given the gift of people through the most challenging of circumstances. Random people even. People remind me, knowingly or not, about the beauty of life and the hope that stems from covenants. 

I know that people are placed in our lives for a reason. Sometimes for a season. Sometimes for a lifetime. This past week, through my cloudy eyes and achy heart, people have "come in" and have opened up their arms and hearts. No bitterness, no anger, just sadness  The sting of loss and change cuts to the bone. But a sliver of my heart has faith in the bigger picture. I know that through time, my heart will heal. Just when you think that the people who love you are tired of all the tears, they're not. It's beautiful really. Think of it! 

I'm grateful for the peaceful simplicity of family.

My mom's an angel. That night we cried. We talked. We ate. We smiled. Simple pleasures. "I don't know how I'll move one step in front of the other", I told her. "I'm here for you", she replied. Then, she showed me how--we walked out that night with left over goodies in our box. She gently handed the remaining treats to a man sitting on the curb with his head hung low. 

I'm grateful for the lessons I learned that night at the cheese shop. 

I'm grateful for sacred places.

I'm grateful for the team of angels we each have helping us through this crazy thing called life.